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Techno Cupcake - With Me - Techno Cupcake
Beyond, Favorites

With Me

I’m not a super sentimental person. I don’t hold or hoard much, but occasionally, there’s an item I just can’t let go of.

Let me back up a bit. When I was in 8th grade, my best friend’s brother died in a car accident. It was one of those strange things that shocks you to your core and when you’re 12, never fully process or understand. When we were almost seniors in high school, another close friend of mine lost her mom to cancer. It’s been 10 years now since that happened. That one, equally shocking, but a lot easier to understand – but also more difficult in so many ways. You realize so quickly what it means to be a good friend, and to throw out all the little mistakes. Then, just a few months later I lost my grandfather. In just a couple of weeks, it will be the 10 year anniversary of his death. I was extremely close to him. I was his first grandchild and only girl for years.

My last memory of him was a phone call asking me to bring up his camera as it was also the weekend of state volleyball of my senior year (he was in the hospital for a broken hip & was going to meet us at the tournament). He never made it to the games. I used his camera to take a few last shots & then kept it with me. Through college & through moving across the country. I displayed it in the guest room at our house for 4+ years. I always knew it was there and that gave me comfort.

Though over the last year, fate stepped in and I slowly got back into photography. I always remembered my grandfather carrying around his Olympus gear. I picked up a new Olympus pen camera, took some photos and I suppose the rest is history. I’ve been getting more and more into it lately. I can hear his voice and I love that. I can hear the conversations about the new OM-D and how gorgeous the photos we’re getting are.

Now, a few weeks away from shooting my little brother’s wedding I can hear how proud and happy he is. I cannot wait. So glad that though my grandfather didn’t get to take my wedding photos, he’ll be a part of Jordan’s. So yes, 10 years and I still have that Olympus E-10 and now I’ve moved it to our bedroom. Sadness started to come over me when I was holding the camera, now it’s a joyful feeling looking at it staring back at me. 10 years and it still gets to me.

Here’s to the little things that make life good. Here’s to thinking of Ashley & Vanessa tonight and knowing how Austin & Patty would be so very proud of those girls. Here’s to remembering that they are still a part of who we’ve become – even 10+ years later. Here’s to knowing they weren’t just a part of our past, but still part of our futures. Here’s to knowing that we are in 3 different states, but I’m thinking of you.


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  • Reply Vanessa

    Oh Andie, that was beautiful. Thanks for thinking of me and including me in your blog. I just KNOW Grandpa Brush is SO proud of you, and I think it is so neat that you have his camera! Photography is in your blood, and I’m sure Jordan’s wedding will be quite the event to capture! I also have a couple little things that I’ve never been able to part with….One of those things is the teddy bear that you gave me when you found out about my mom. Although I haven’t been into teddy bears in years, I still have that cuddly little guy that I’ve packed from place to place every time I’ve ever moved, and he always stays in my bedroom 🙂 Thanks for being such a great friend throughout all these years. Love you!

    October 17, 2012 at 12:43 am
  • Reply Andie

    It’s so funny, isn’t it? The things you hold on to & the things you remember; even in all that chaos. I remember sitting on my porch getting a card from you. Only a few sentences, but feeling so connected to you in that moment. I remember all the bad things melting away. I even remember smiling through all those tears knowing someone understood. Congrats on your rehab run today!!

    October 17, 2012 at 12:54 am
  • Reply Ash

    I love you girls so much!! Andie, that post was very touching and I’m so honored to be in it. I think of you both very often and wish I could see you more. Although I love how web we do chat it feels like no time has gone by at all and we are still in high school together. Lol. Gpa Brush would be so proud of you Andie! Remember our photoshoot we did in the garage studio?? Lol those pus were….special. Oh how we lived Romey and Michelle’s high school reunion. Vanessa, your mom would be so proud of the strong, beautiful, and independent lady you are. You have always inspired and motivated me to be a better person and to never be afraid. Love and hugs to you both. I miss you and gpa, patty, and Austin too. Hopefully they are loving life upstairs. Xoxoxoxo

    October 17, 2012 at 4:11 am
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