I’ve been doing lots of thinking about words lately – particularly today. It’s the end of the year and that means… tensions are high. Deadlines are mounting, I’m sick at looking at everyone’s face and I just want to go home and snuggle with my dog. Seriously, she’s precious. But one of my favorite things about her is that she makes me happy. Genuinely laugh out loud, baby-talking happy. Plus, she doesn’t speak any English. Her words don’t hurt me. My random gibberish doesn’t hurt her as long as I’m giving her rubs and talking in a happy tone, girl couldn’t be more uplifted.
I’d like to think of myself as someone who generally thinks before I speak, but I will say I like to vent. I like to just say words. It makes me feel better. And, often when I’m in “rant mode” sometimes, I don’t even know what I’m saying. I just want to dump it off and move on. Over the past few months I’ve been starting to notice more and more the power of our words. There are people that are the same as me and understand where I’m coming from. They just want to get it out too. We can both walk away feeling better and neither of us judging each other. We just got it out and we move on. There are many others that aren’t like that. I noticed that when I was talking to my dad about something he said “why do you do it? you hate it!”. I was shocked. I don’t hate coaching volleyball. Parents suck, but overall, I love it. It’s a release that’s something completely different than what I normally do. Though, I realized I often “dumped” on him. Without thinking about my words, I could see how it could seem that way. My words have power. Someone was listening. I’ve tried to be more careful, but it’s hard. I get caught up and I just want to get it out.
I’ve found that as tensions are high and insecurities about things mount up, words hurt more and more. I had to stop myself today because I had an out of body experience while talking to someone that I realized the things that I was saying could be construed as negative or hurtful, but that was not my intention. Actually, the opposite. I was trying to say that we all have things to learn and at the end of the day, the task got done – so who cares? Though I quickly realized that the words I was using could easily be misinterpreted as negative and even putting someone who I actually respect down. I had to just stop. No explanation, just stop myself. When people get all riled up, boy do I join in!
I’ve also been trying to learn that we have options. I’ve struggled in my life with some people but am realizing I have choices. If the truth hurts or I know my button is getting pushed, I just stop and walk away or stay silent. While I realize sometimes no words at all have lots of power, I’d rather say nothing at all rather than say something I’ll regret. We all have limits and we all have buttons. We do. While some people may not like it, it’s just truth. And words can hurt. Learning to understand my buttons has helped me to stay silent instead.
So where’s this all going? Today was a day of a war on words. I was reading about the “what’s your excuse?” fit mom, the words that the star of Duck Dynasty said among other things. I have thoughts on the matter. But I really don’t want to comment on that; I don’t want to say that words hurt. While our intentions may be in the right place, that doesn’t make hurtful words less so. But it becomes a vicious cycle: we get outraged, we have words. They get outraged, they have more words. I want to try to make some better choices. We all make mistakes and apologies will happen. Instead of trying to dig myself in a deeper hole by explaining, my goal this year is to recognize that words can hurt, apologize and move on. Will I probably say something that will offend someone? Yes. I’m opinionated. I get angry. I get frustrated. I want to explain. But, my goal is to use my words more wisely. When I catch myself saying something particularly hurtful for no reason, I want to stop it.
So, lastly, I want to end on these final thoughts… Recently, there was a big twitter hubbub involving Rachel (aka makeupneversleeps on YouTube) and Zoe from (Zoella). My words are: Rachel, you are so amazing. You’re beautiful, smart and talented. You make me laugh and buy some really cool stuff. People were mean to you & I think their words have impacts they don’t understand. So I want to tell you that you make my days better. You’re an unapologetic strong woman that makes me want to stand up and have opinions, too. I can’t undo their mean words that I just don’t understand, but I can tell you that there are so many of us that gain so much from you and we probably don’t say that enough.
I’m not here to debate any situations, I just wanted to say those words about someone that I have really enjoyed “following”. I hope to do more posts that are just nice words for people I really gain more out of. I think I’m training my brain to be negative and I want to make sure I balance that with positive. I want to make sure people who make me happy or make me better know it. I don’t only want to comment when I’m angry, I want to comment when they make me happy or I’m happy for them. Ok, that’s enough rainbows & sunshine for the night…